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» Tuesday, December 31, 2019And So, It's New Year's Eve Again
It's a chilly day, starting out in the 30s, going up to the 50s, just the way I like it. When I took Tucker for his walk, the sky was a fierce, bright blue, the kind of color that hurts your eyes in its beauty. Birds were calling from the trees and a brisk wind swept in from the north; hard to believe two days ago it was 70°F—I much prefer the weather today, even if I could have used a heavier coat and stockings!
James is teleworking today. The swelling in his hand appears to be going down, and it hurts less, so we are crossing fingers that it was only a sprain he got when he probably slipped and caught himself (possibly when he thwacked his elbow and made it bleed on the sheets). We ice it three times a day and support it other times with an Ace bandage. I think having him not go into work yesterday, as the advice nurse suggested, was a good idea; he didn't have to risk losing his balance again or having to catch or push something with his bad hand, or lift his laptop case.
Tucker is experiencing his usual anxiety about the popping noises outside. He desperately hates fireworks. We tried tranquilizer treats on him last year and they did not work, even though we took the Petco lady's advice and started them almost a week early. At night he huddles next to me on the sofa or James on the recliner and shivers.
Nothing bothers Snowy—unless it's a loud noise close by or Mommy doing weird movements on her stepper. He's enjoyed the last few weeks with all the familiar Christmas stories and music playing away in the background. Raise the volume, he sings louder. He had a good time last night when I ran an old recording of the Boston Pops holiday concert, with Conan O'Brien reading "A Visit from St. Nicholas."
We had a quiet Christmas, but it's hard to tell because it zipped by with the speed of light. One minute Thanksgiving was over and now it's New Year's Eve. I know I decorated, made cookies, replaced 150 light bulbs on two Christmas trees (I still haven't told that story yet), walked around downtown, went to the ARTC Christmas performance, and to the Butlers' for Christmas, but that all seems like it went by in seconds. Maybe the best thing about work turned out to be how the hours crawled by any time I was in the office. 😕
I can't say it's been a bad year because we had only one scare and that ended up as spending the night in the emergency room. James did have to have those two skin cancers removed, one from each side of his face. Glad that, after a false start, the Plaquinil Dr. Salazar prescribed for James did work and he's not in such terrible arthritis pain, that the new blood pressure meds helped as well, and that just by tweaking his work snacks we reduced his A1C numbers. I want to keep this positive vibe up, because most of this year I feel like I've been an emotional wreck. I am not over the car accident last year: I hate driving anywhere anymore, even if it's to Lidl to get some of their amazing "dinner rolls," and, as James will (somewhat irritatedly) tell you, I am hyper-nervous when we drive in traffic. I am so glad I do not commute anywhere any longer (especially since traffic on both of my previous routes to work grows worse every day, and each nightly news show is lit up with the horrible accidents every day). I don't seem to get any comfort out of my crafts or writing any longer; it's only when I can disappear into a book with that great soother of souls, instrumental Christmas music, in the background, that I feel any peace at all. I feel like a lot of times I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I spent Sunday prepping a new journal; sometimes it seems as it is the sole thing that keeps me sane. Yesterday I started writing out a "20 for 2020" goal (re Gretchen Rubin's "Happier" podcast) and ended up with only seventeen items. I also answered the questions in the back of this year's journal and my answers came out pretty sad. Today I slept nearly eight hours and already I'm in the mood for a nap!