FOR TODAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2013

Outside my window...
...still very cloudy and raining. We have had bouts of rain days almost constantly this winter. Granted, we need the rain, but the ground is soaked and we're now almost always under a flood watch. Considering that last year we were in drought conditions, it's the flip side.

I am thinking...
...I don't believe I've ever gotten over last year's Christmas depression. Like John Adams, I "reek of discontent." I have to be frank, this reorganization has thrown me for a loop. Every time we reorganize the rules change. You would think there would be all one rule, but there isn't. I'm going to have to learn to do my folders differently, because every contracting officer looks at them differently.

I am thankful...
...right now, I'm not being very thankful, and I should be. I don't have to take a bus to work, and I do have work. I shouldn't be depressed and I shouldn't be upset, but I am.

In the kitchen...
...chicken is defrosting for dinner.

I am wearing...
...my "Lassie Fan" sweatshirt, navy blue sweatpants, beige socks, and blue scuffs. (It's cold enough to wear slippers, but I can't while I'm at the computer; it makes static, so my toes must remain cold.)

I am creating...
...I need to be creating calm. Especially when it affects my body negatively not to be calm.

I am going...
...to have to get Schuyler used to remote meetings! My new branch has them every week, and she insists on trying to join in the conversation!

I am wondering...
...about the future. It seems pretty bleak right now, but that is because of the reorganization and the always variable nature of James' job these days. I know positive change is supposed to be good for you, but right now this doesn't seem positive, and my whole body is rebelling against it in negative ways. I don't sleep well, which means I can't think, and it bothers me physically, so I worry more, so I don't sleep...well, you can see it's a vicious circle.

I am reading...
...still working on The Victorians and The Great War, which are both very thick books. I should read something light, like another Trixie Belden. Maybe that would help.

I am hoping...
...I can figure things out.

I am looking forward to...
...my Friday off. I need sleep so badly. And retirement.

Around the house...
...rain outside, heat purring within. Everything's untidy again, even after I went on a mass book-shelving fit last week (actually, they all ended up downstairs to be shelved and aren't). Out the window I can see Mr. and Mrs. Goldfinch at the feeder. He is in his winter coat, but you can tell him from "the missus" by the bright yellow patch on each wing, above the black bars.

I am pondering...
...contentment and how to achieve it.

A favorite quote for today...
This, sadly, fits my mood:
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” ― Charles Chaplin

One of my favorite things...
...the marvelous Miranda Hart, who is on Bear Grylls' Wild Weekends tonight on BBC America. I need a cheer up.

A few plans for the rest of the week:
More things to get used to at work, and then an expedition to buy wild bird seed. My wild children will go hungry soon.

A peek into my day...
It would be a grey picture for a grey day and a grey mood.


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