I am exhausted.

I wrote a post earlier this year, and I don't remember if I posted it at all, or it was on Facebook, talking about how much I feared this year's end of fiscal year. I didn't think I was up to it emotionally or physically and the thought of it scared the hell out of me. It's lived up to all my fears, too; I've been stressed, distracted, at least once a week at the point where I want to start to cry instead of going to work, miserable, and with a headache most days that wasn't alleviated by new glasses as I'd hoped. The nightmares have been the worst: I dream of being drowned in purchase orders, and even had a bizarre dream where Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory told me in quite snotty tones that all my purchase orders were done incorrectly.

I wanted nothing more than to come home Friday night and crawl on to the futon for some sleep, but hunger called. We had a full card from Fresh2Order, which meant we got a free dinner (they don't do the punch cards anymore; this will be our last). I had a 3/4 plate bourbon beef with a half-bowl of creamy chicken vegetable soup, which mostly filled me up, so I have enough leftover steak for two sandwiches. Excellent.

Later we dropped in next door at Costco to pick up some roast beef for DragonCon sandwiches. Wandered about the books, of course, and picked up the new combination Blu-Ray set of The Rescuers and The Rescuers Down Under (the latter should look quite good in high-def). They already had Christmas things out, including a huge stuffed Rudolph with a red nose that lights up; it's as big as a kindergartener. Also wrapping paper and lights.

Unfortunately the cool gadgets, like the under-the-cabinet lighting I saw there last time, had been moved to make room for jackets. Booooo.

On the way home we stopped at Publix for James to get cash and then we had dessert at Brusters. In bed before midnight! Good chance for eight hours sleep!

Did you have to bark at seven and a half hours, Willow? Groan...

It was nice out when we went to the Farmers Market today! Cool! Almost autumnal! The artists' market was today and we walked past paintings, decorative barrettes, origami ornaments, jewelry, wooden items, and other artistic things. We didn't have much to buy today: just chicken salad, a couple of brownies for dessert, a pot pie for Sunday dinner, and some baked ziti for another dinner. James also got a rice ball to replace the one he left behind last week, and when the nice Italian lady who helps run the booth heard what happened, she gave it to him for free, despite our protests. (The vendor's name is "Uncle Dom's." They are Sicilian. They also make super bread.)

On the way home we stopped at Kroger to do the rest of the shopping since James has to work tomorrow and we can't go then. We bought some soup for potlucks night, Those Damn Bananas, a few more yogurts in case, milk, four ice cream cups, and a few other things.

Came home and put all the perishables up, then took our time going out. I had time to finish The Great Silence, Juliet Nicolson's book about England between Armistice Day 1918 and Armistice Day 1920—fascinating chapters about how the war changed both upper class and lower class life, the sometimes grim result of war deaths on other family members, and two engrossing chapters about how a plastic surgeon changed the lives of those disfigured by wounds. She follows many of the characters she spoke about in her earlier book, The Perfect Summer: England 1911.

Then it was off to the hobby shop, where I was reading Anything Goes (a history of the 1920s) and Corley and some of the others had lunch. Finally we did go looking for fall: we went to Garden Ridge! And fall they did have: garlands and wreaths and picks, signs for the yard and scarecrows for the home, and masses of stuff for Hallowe'en: blinking ghosties and even a blow-mold ghost for the yard, aisles of skeletons dressed and undressed, tombstones and witches.

And there was Christmas aplenty, too: several aisles of color-matched ornaments, just boxes of plain colored "baubles," and Christmas trees in colors not known in nature, like electric blue and bright red. Some lightstrings were out, and we got two more blue ones to replace the ones we have for outside where we can't figure out why half the string won't light. Got some exercise walking the rest of the store, where we found aisles and aisles of "scrubs," both for men and women. Really amazing; it must be a moneymaker. Looked at cabinets and things, and then came to the big pallets where they toss all sorts of remainder books. We found a couple of gifts, and James got something about weather and a book by the guy who does Man Vs. Food, and I found Why? Because We Still Like You (a Mouseketeer memoir I hadn't felt like paying full price for and Inventing Late Night, about Steve Allen and the history of The Tonight Show.

Making our way home, we stopped at Aldi for more spaetzle, and then hit the Smyrna Kroger for gasoline (where it was cheapest) and went inside to get something for supper. We both got soup and James got something for work tomorrow, and we bagged a couple of cheap steaks.

When I turned on the computer we found out the news about Neil Armstrong. :-( We saw some news reports about it as we ate dinner, and when I switched to NASA-TV they were showing clips from the moonwalk and some speeches he did. Watched a bit of Storage Wars, then put on From the Earth to the Moon to watch "Spider" and "That's All There Is." The news footage gave me goosebumps. I still remember the space coverage and the moonwalk so clearly: the 19 inch black and white Magnavox television we had then, the doors and windows being wide open on the summer night to let in the shrill of the crickets and the buzz of the motorcycles zipping up and down Gansett Avenue, the warm summer night with its warm summer scents of cut grass, leftover heat, car exhaust, flowers, asphalt, and yeasty perspiration as we gathered around the ghostly blue fire of the transmission from the moon. The lunar module landed early in the evening, and after watching that coverage, we went to the St. Mary's Church annual feast for a while, an always heady combination of band concert, carnival games, food concessions, and people celebrating in the warm, sticky summer evening air. I had my faithful Philco radio attached to my ear as we strolled the booths and munched on hot doughboys sprinkled with sugar, and even though it was fireworks night, we headed home instead to watch the moonwalk. Goosebumps for sure. Not a night like it since.

Labels: autumn, books, Christmas, food, friends, history, obituary, shopping, television, work

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