It's been an elevator kind of day, if you know what I mean. The percoset and especially the new med (Gaba-something) did help and Mom was able to speak with the nurse. This afternoon she washed up on her own. She didn't eat an especial lot today, but did have a dish of ice cream she enjoyed. The fever did go away and she's been cooperative about her pills.

We did have one scare: my Aunty Ella and her daughter Janice came to visit for a while. When they left I fixed supper, the same spaghetti and pork Mom enjoyed last week, but she only ate a few mouthfuls. Finally, she confessed to me what was wrong: she was having chest pains! I called Hospice immediately and the triage nurse said to have her take a nitroglycerin tablet (Mom has had angina problems). The pain lessened and the nurse said to call back if the pain got worse or didn't go away. Mom said it went away after she ate the ice cream. I wondered if it was just because she was hungry.

But I can't believe she didn't tell me!

I'm doing okay/not okay in fits and starts. I didn't get much sleep last night and have been exhausted all day. I had to play hostess while my aunt and cousin were here and didn't seem to find any time to talk with James. And when I did I had a crying fit; I can't tell if there's something wrong with me or the heat is just clobbering me and making me feel so bizarre. Tonight while I was eating I could feel a panic attack building and I had to beat it down while looking normal. I was shaky after the chest pain scare as well.

I think the uncertainty of Mom's condition is starting to wear on me. One hour she can be horrible, the next okay, tonight she's been particularly alert for a while. I don't know what tomorrow will bring and it worries me; like this morning I wasn't able to lift her into the bed.

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. . . . . noted and logged by Linda at 11:10:00 PM

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