It ended up bad last night. Mom was okay until about one o'clock. She had promised to take the other half of a Percoset. Then she needed to use the bathroom. From there her situation deteriorated. She was in pain and wouldn't take the pain medication. I was already rubbed raw from the heat and needed to use the bathroom badly. By the time this had gone on for a half hour I lost it. I burst into tears and called the Hospice nurse.

Despite the pain Mom's mother instincts kicked in when she heard me crying and I was able to get her into bed and get her to take the remainder of the pain medication. She had a fever again and she took some Tylenol as well. I was wrung out and went to bed too much later on.

Got up at eight in the latest futile gesture to keep the house cool: Mom is scared about being alone and wants all the windows closed at night. So as always at night, I closed them except in my room and the bathroom (which is up high). Got up to open some of the windows. She had just finished in the bathroom and I helped her take her first pill. At ten when the nurse called she came to the door of my room and she took the next pill, and her heart pill.

I went back to sleep until eleven and the Mass came on television. I watched, but she dozed through most of it. Again she used the bathroom and the situation deteriorated again. And I can't blame it on a fever this time. I finally said I needed to use the bathroom and she complained that I was tricking her (I was, partially, but I needed it, too), but she did get up.

Tried to get her to eat breakfast, but she just sat on the sofa and told me to leave her alone. So I did. I'm watching second season of Monk and trying to "maintain an even strain."

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. . . . . noted and logged by Linda at 12:52:00 PM

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